Never act accordingly, just let it flow and set your scene

Hello.

It has been almost two months since I have last posted, so I was pretty much spot on when I said that this blog would miserably fail. Although, now that I've got a little bit of time, I am going to try to post a little more. I apologize for my busy-ness. Now here's what's made me so busy.

Music.

SO. Since two months ago, quite a bit has gone down with Fish House. First of all, we got into the Day newspaper, and kinda took a huge part of the front page of the daybreak section. It was awesome. We got interviewed by a couple dudes about our song Jiminy, and we got to perform it for them. They got it all on video, edited it (perfectly may I add), and posted it on the Day's website. Check it out here. It was awesome, and it really got our name out there locally. It's sweet walking around school and having people I don't know congratulate my band and I on something we did. It's really cool, and it raised my hopes for Fish House. I felt at that point that we'd never get the EP done, and I didn't have much confidence as far as us achieving our dreams. It sounds stupid, but even a little bit of recognition for anything helps. On top of that, we did a video interview with our good friends Jade and Avery for the Harmonic Series, which is an online blog type of thing that features artists all over the place. They featured us as Band of the Week, so that was really cool too! Check out that interview here. It's funny as hell so be prepared.With that video, Avery took some promo photos for us, which turned out pretty well. Those aren't really a huge deal, but here comes all the fun stuff. We were asked by the same Avery as before to play at her Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party. It was a blast and I finally got to achieve my dream of screaming my heart out into a mic to an All Time Low song. Judge me. On top of all the fun we had there, they payed us by offering to pay for $150 of the expenses towards the very first Fish House merch. Now, by now the EP is very close to finish. But this offer kind of woke us up in the sense that we should be discussing the support and preparation, and most importantly advertisement of our EP. This means we need to start thinking about merch, new promos, a music video, the album cover of the EP, etc. etc. So we just ordered our shirts (30 t-shirts and crew necks :DDDDDD) which are going to be totally awesome. Avery said that we could take our time in actually coming up with the design, so we're getting a bunch of artistically talented people to sketch out their ideas, that way we can come up with something super creative and fun. Now if this isn't awesome enough, the school is finally starting to recognize us as musicians. The Junior class asked us to play at the pep rally. Now first of all, bands typically need to beg their school to do something like this, and if they're lucky enough they'll actually be allowed to do it. It's crazy that we're being asked. Second of all, during my schools pep rallies, everyone in the school is required to be in the gymnasium during the whole thing. You literally get in trouble if you're not there. So the entire school will guaranteed be watching my band, and I could not be more pumped for that. I'm literally getting butterflies typing this. I sound stupid but we went over what we're going to be playing there today, and the song is perfect, and it's gonna be freaking amazing. I'm pumped. NOW IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH AWESOMENESS FOR YOU. There is more. The Junior class made this ridiculous suggestion. Normally my school throws in a dance during Winter, to make money for the classes and have a jolly old time. The Junior class wants to hold the same type of event, but instead, it will be a strictly FISH HOUSE CONCERT. They want us to play a full Fish House Concert in our Auditorium on December 15th ( a Saturday). It's weird that they're trusting us this much with our class funds, but honestly I will not complain. The plan is to have 1 or 2 opening acts (I'll get to our ideas for that in a second), have pre-sale be $7, and $10 at the door. Our EP will be done by then, and all our T-Shirts will be all pretty and ready to sell. We're not asking to school to pay us for this (we're just trying to help out our class), and we have our own sound and lights dude, so really this is almost 100% profit. The only thing they really have to pay for is the wristbands we're giving to people to get in ($15). So if this isn't saving the Junior Class, I don't know what is. ON TOP OF THAT. We had ideas for opening acts. Barefoot Truth (band originated from the Noank/Groton/Mystic area) is breaking up unfortunately. The lead singer/drummer attended Fitch, and is off doing his own solo project. Now my mom e-mailed him to get him to make an appearance at my 16th Birthday Party, and he actually responded. the only reason he didn't come was because he was off on tour. SO HE ACTUALLY RESPONDS TO PEOPLE. Now, why wouldn't he want to come back to his old high school and support a band that's forming there? He's going to want to (hopefully). Adam knows this lady who worked with him and is friends with him, so I think she's going to introduce us. This would draw in a huge crowd, so I really REALLY hope it works out. There's also a local-ish ska band called Llama Tsunami that we may look into. I think this is gonna be a huge event for both Fitch and Fish House! The only thing that is NOT confirmed are the opening acts so don't go off being pumped to see either of them, i'm not trying to get your hopes up!

THAT is what the life of a Fish has been like in the past couple months. Pretty sweet right? I mean i'm hyped on everything. The EP sounds amazing right now and it's not even mastered yet. I think people are really going to like it, and hopefully we can send it off to minor record companies. Our goal is to go on a small tour this summer, and looking at the progress we've made in the past two months, it's not out of the question. Hopefully I can keep everything up to date on here.

IN ADDITION.

School is not as hard as I thought it'd be at all. "Junior year is most important" my ass. To be honest I haven't done less work with more A's in my life. I got 100 on an Math test for the first time since probably 8th Grade. I have all A's and 2 B's, and I'm hardly trying. I understand it's early, but shit man. IB is going smoothly at the moment, and I have no school problems anymore. It's rad and I'm digging it.

TRANSITION

My face, has been considerably better. I always had problems dealing with the whole acne thing, and back when I wrote my first couple posts I sure as hell expressed it. Ever since then I've been really strict on taking the medication for it, and people have told me that my skin looks considerably better. It  makes it easier to get up and show my face. Being in band vlogs and other videos like that hasn't been as scary and terrible as it is, and I'm seriously so happy about it. I haven't really told anyone about my feelings about it recently, but it's been better than ever before. I can look at girls now, so that's cool. But I still have a problem with talking to them. The other day me and my friend Joe were at a Fundraiser to support the field hockey team (our friends play on the team so why not) and we were walking by, and this dude I hung out with a couple times (Johnny) was walking towards us with this gorgeous girl whose name I will not give. Anyways, we walked by each other and I said "Sup Johnny?" He was like "sup." Then to the girl, I literally fucked the pooch so hard. I tried to say something like "What's Up" and "How's It Going" at the same time. So really I just said gibberish. "Whazzow." I kept walking, and she waved and smiled but said nothing and walked past with Johnny. Seriously, I cannot do anything with girls. Ever. I felt ashamed to be a person for the rest of the night. I need help.

As a result of all this, I've been writing a lot of new music for Fish House recently, and the song is really a huge reflection of whats been going on recently.

Where I want to go in music, I realized, is gonna be accomplished doing what I want. Doing my own thing, and not copying other peoples ideas, or giving in to expectations, boundaries, or pressure from anyone. It's gotten us this far (which is really nowhere) so really how could it fail us. I mean, everyone tells you to be yourself, and it's so true. Especially in music. It's amazing to me. Just doing what I love (which is stupid sometimes) has gotten us recognized and loved by our school and grade. You don't need to follow the beaten path, people. Take on your own fears, and dream until you can't no more. Quoting my own song (yeah, I I'll do it) Never act accordingly, just let it flow and set your scene. That line describes everything. Never act accordingly. Go crazy. Do shit no one thought you'd do. Blindside them. So what you want and what you want only. Let it flow and set your scene. Let your ideas flow freely, don't worry about anything, just let it flow, and you'll set the perfect scene for yourself. You'll set up your life the way you'd love for it to be set up, and in that scene is where you'll live. The song is meant to enlighten people upon the fact that anything is possible. As long as you can muster up the strength to admit your love for something, and go for it. Honestly, the song is going to be amazing,  and I really hope people get the point I'm trying to get across. Do your own thing and love every second.

Much Love,
- Jake

Never act accordingly.

I don't wanna go in the fire, I just wanna stay in my home

I really love fall.

Fall is a time for cider, cold days, jeans, acoustic guitars, sweaters, hats, bike rides, disposables, indie music, and just about everything in between. And I love every second of it. It's the most bittersweet time of year, but somehow it gives you a feeling like no other.

I'm in High School so of course I'm going to bring up the end of summer and the beginning of school. Okay lets be real, Summer was fan-fucking-tastic. Bonfires, acoustic jams with friends, parties, SHOWS, vacations, trips, the ocean, beaches, swimming pools, sunburn, warm weather, and millions of memories I'll never forget. I loved every second. But I'm happy for fall to come around. During the summer I go through a certain phase in which I do things that are cliche among people. For example, listing all good things about summer in the manner I just did. Writing music that tends to be simpler and more peppy and fun. Listening to way too much All Time Low. Going to the beach way too much. You know, most of the things an average 13-year-old girl does. Fall is kind of the kick in the ass in that sense, a breath of fresh air. I mean that literally. When you first go outside in your jeans and sweaters and take a huge gulp of air, you'll realize how fresh crisp and cool it is. It's refreshing to get that feeling instead of breathing in humidity and warm air. Fall brings out the "hipster" (yup I said it) in me. I try to think outside the box and do some different shit every once in a while. I write some really interesting and complicated music, maybe not happy all the time. I listen to some amazing bands, who were just made to be played on a bike ride to clyde's (I'm referring to the Dodos here folks). I cut my hair shorter. I expand my boundaries when it comes to clothes. And I tend to think more in depth in the fall, for whatever reason. It's a season of enlightenment every year, and it hasn't failed me yet.

Now good things come with that great feeling in the fall. Thanksgiving. Best holiday ever. You get to eat a stupid amount of food and kick back and watch some football. Football. I'm not a hardcore Pats fan but I'll kick back, have some cider, and watch a couple dudes toss around some pigskin every Sunday. The weather. You don't have to worry about dressing any certain way until around October, because you can be comfortable in just about anything. The six-year-old in the back of your head that's screaming CHRISTMAS. The moment I ever feel cold after a long summer, it brings me right to December 24th, the night where I never sleep, and never will for as long as I live. Because I am a 6-year-old at heart. Deal with it. Your new school year. You get to go back and meet up with those not so close friends you're not really friends with but you like seeing them at school. You get to start off with a kind of new clean slate. You get to have new classes, new teachers, new people to meet. But on the other hand... Your new school year.

SCHOOL. You haven't gone in a couple months. Every bit of Pre-Calculus and Biology has been ripped out of your brain by the evil hands of summer. You're starting to remember what it's like to do work when on the last day of summer you're procrastinating that 450 page book you haven't started reading by writing some stupid blog post about fall. You start to reminisce back on the memories of Summer Vacation, and start to think about how you promised yourself 2 months ago you wouldn't be on your computer on the last day. It's really a weird day for me. It's one of those days were you don't really feel like doing much. I haven't said a word all day to anyone. It's one of those days were you don't feel happy, you don't feel sad. You're kind of just there. Hanging, surrounded by empty space, doing and thinking about nothing in particular. It's a sort of limbo. Honestly a really weird concept but the effect of the summer ending, school starting, and everything else just brings that to mind. But it'll all end in the morning, when at 6 AM, running on two hours of sleep, your life will begin with a gross bus ride with kids you don't like going to a place you'll be complaining about in a week. And that's just the circle of life.

Fall: can't live it, can't live without it.

Much Love,
- Jake

I don't wanna hear all the liars, I just wanna be with my own

My words are as timed as the beating in my chest

There's a certain beauty to writing.

Not necessarily a song, or a journal entry, or the book you think will be your breakthrough novel. But just writing. I think that it's adequately healthy for a person to have the opportunity to write down whatever their heart desires at any given time. I have places to write everywhere I go. I type nonsense into my iPhone, I type words like this onto my computer, and in school, I ignore everything around me and write on pieces of paper, and I think it's helped me through more situations than one. Here's how.

Writing is like speaking. You take whats in that nutty little brain of yours and direct it towards something. The beauty is, when you feel so alone, locked up in this brick house with a swat team waiting for you on the other side of the front door, you've got six thousand pounds of TNT ready to blow their heads off. Analogy of the day kids. Swat team is your problems and TNT is the writing, yada yada. Writing about your problems or concerns with the world will make you feel better. That little piece of paper, that computer monitor, that iPhone screen. They make you feel so much less alone. You've got something else that's telling you the same thing you're thinking. A certain feeling of understanding or sympathy. On top of that you've got the damn thing out your head. Your problems are as bad as the song in which you can't forget the hook. But as soon as you write the lyrics down a thousand times you'll most likely forget about it and move on to a new and better song. Wow I'm full of analogies tonight aren't I. This is about the time in my blog posts where I begin to tie music in. Commence band geek.

This is what makes music and songwriting the best therapy money can buy. Personally as a songwriter, I pump out lyrics the most when I'm seriously troubled. Why is this? Music brings a lot more than that little piece of paper, that computer monitor, or that iPhone screen into the picture. This brings in any one of you motherfuckers who decide to listen. If I am going through a rough time, I write down everything that I'm feeling into one of the tools I mentioned. Chances are, it ends up in a song my band plays. My band records the song it ends up in, and it's listened to by our 4 or so guppies. Let's say said guppies were going through a tough time as well. That song will make them feel so much less alone, knowing a rawkstar like myself goes through the same type of thing. This connection makes a lasting impression on them and they decide to come to one of our shows. Next thing you know it's all smiles and tears. Moral of the story: writing something (specifically music here) will do many things. It will make you feel less alone, because your fans can connect to what you're going through. It will make your fans feel less alone because they know you're going through something similar. And you get the satisfaction of finding a way to finally get that trouble off your shoulders, and doing the same favor for someone who supports you. And it gives you an easy and extremely entertaining way to express your feelings without ending up in a convention that's really made for drug abusers.

But let's face it, who wants to go admit their mistakes to anyone and everyone onstage? This separates the boys from the men. And by boys I mean people who keep their writing to themselves (which is perfectly okay), and by men I mean the motherfuckers who have the nuts to scream it to millions of people onstage or through some headphones. I figured this out quite some time ago, and it gave me a new found respect for songwriters. Take Jesse Lacey for example. He wrote a song about how he can't get girls, and he instead decided he'd be better off masturbating. Does he care? Fuck no. It makes him feel good to just admit those things to people. That's a guy I look up to. Musicians that spill their guts in the form of music are my heroes, and the ones I cherish most. And in my musical endeavors, I try to do nothing more or nothing less than just that. It feels like something I could never describe in my wildest dreams. But in a way I kind of like the mystery of it. It makes me want to keep doing it in a subconscious effort to discover the true feeling behind music. And that's the drive that keeps me waking up every morning.

There's a certain beauty to writing. And I feel like I'm starting to catch on.

Much Love,
- Jake

Watch me as I cut myself wide open on this stage, yes I am paid to spill my guts.

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Come out any time after midnight. Why? No one's awake. No one's listening. No ones here. No one can see their tears. No one's there to make them feel better. And everyone who is there is either doing the same as them or under the influence of alcohol. They can go ahead and say every word that voice in the back of their head has been trying to get out all this time. No one can judge them for showing their emotions or what mistakes they admit to. No one can stop you to make you feel better, so you can get everything out without stopping and just drown in the mess you've made. I'm guilty of it.

Example A.

I'm not sure if it's healthy. But it sure makes the next day easier to wake up to. Keep crying kids. It makes us all feel a little less alone, no matter how much we don't want to admit it.

Much love,
- Jake

The sun's night off is our time back at work because everyone needs some time.

Welcome!

Hello, people I may know, and people I may not know.

I've tried and failed numerous times to start and consistently run the constant flow of seemingly pointless words that we call a blog. So here's attempt number 6,000. Here it goes. 

I'm Jake Benavidez and I'm a kid with aspirations and dreams far bigger than the area of my bedroom. I live in Mystic CT, and I go to Fitch High School with mostly people I don't like that much. I'm 16 and the last couple days of summer are rolling in. This upcoming year I'll be a Junior, enrolling in the IB program. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to it. Now, the one thing that I love truthfully in the world with every inch of my body is music, and it's been this way since I was eight years old. I'm not going to give you one of those bull shit stories like, "When I was 8 I knew every band in the history of the world, and I begged my mom to buy me a guitar because I was so inspired. So I saved up my pennies for it and..." I'll give it to you straight. I saw a dude playing guitar on TV and I was like "shit that guy looks bad-ass. I need one of those." So I went and told my mom I wanted a guitar for Christmas. Do you think an 8 year old boy would wake up the next day still wanting that guitar for Christmas? Who the fuck knows. All I know is I definitely didn't, and asking for that guitar out of no where seemed like absolutely nothing back then. But to this day, I love that commercial for everything it's worth, because shit. It just changed my life. That Christmas, low and behold, there's that guitar shaped box under the tree. I completely forgot I asked for it, and I wasn't too excited about it. To tell you the truth, I hated the first two weeks of lessons. We were learning hot cross buns and all that shit, but to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to go fucking jam like Joe Perry and Billie Joe did. So I got through a couple months of lessons and for my birthday I got myself my first electric guitar. It was a piece of shit. But it had distortion and that was the one and only thing I cared about. All of a sudden bands like blink-182, the Beatles, more Green Day, and Led Zeppelin were thrown in my face by my parents. Love you Mom and Dad. Thanks to you I started buying band shirts, asking for iPods instead of batting gloves, and headphones instead of video games. Music started to engulf every second of my life and I was loving it. Pretty soon I joined the Jazz Band and met my best pal Kyle Torr-Brown. I'll be honest I was such a dick to that kid. I really feel terrible because I was that douchebag jock kid in elementary school that shit all over everyone. Luckily this music thing saved me from getting worse. Anyways, I learned Kyle could play drums once I heard him in this Beatles Tribute Jazz Band Concert we did for the closing of our school. So that summer we started to jam. And we haven't stopped since. Soon my other two friends Adam and Hunter learned their shit and we had a band on our hands. Our name is Fish House, and I swear that band is everything I've ever hoped and dreamed. Our music makes me feel great in every way you can think of and I'm not ashamed to say I love all three of those guys and I always will. We've been such good friends since 5th grade, and it's about to be Junior year and we haven't come close to drifting. It's amazing and I'm so unbelievably lucky to have found these guys. Couldn't have asked for better people. As you can tell from the book I've been writing, literally through the night (the sun is now coming up), I really love this music thing. I've gotten into way better bands since I was eight (including bands like State Radio, Dispatch, Brand New, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, the Foo Fighters, Manchester Orchestra, Oasis, Paramore, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Sigur Ros, Streetlight Manifesto, Weezer) and it's been throwing me surprises ever since. I love the way it sounds. State Radio's ability to play just about any type of music. Brand New's originality. The Foo Fighters power. Radiohead and everything they've ever written. Rage Against the Machine's straight freight train of a rhythm section. Sigur Ros' beautiful melodies and bowed guitars. The way Streetlight Manifesto plays ska (generally happy music) but puts lyrics that bring a tear to my eye in their songs. Just the way certain songs can make my hair stand on end, make me shiver, or make me cry like a baby. Just by hearing it. Could you imagine playing it? Being a part of it? Creating your own? Putting your own feeling and memory to the sounds coming out of those 6 strings? You have no idea. Words can't describe any of it. It's amazing and I'll be playing it until my hands feet and ears come off.


To let you know what kind of person I am (if that didn't do it for you) I'm an extremely emotional person. I'll just say it. Whatever, I don't care at all. If I hear my Mom in an argument with my dad, sometimes I cry. I can say I've cried because my band has had issues. I cry all too often, and It happens with people. I cry at movies if it strikes some sad memory or feeling I've got. Call me a pussy or whatever but that's just how I am.I'm really big on originality and being yourself. I don't act very different around different people and it's the best feeling ever. I'll do the same stupid shit I do around my band to whoever ends up hanging out with our group of friends. And why wouldn't you want to do so? First of all you don't have to go through the trouble of actually thinking of some way to act around people. Second of all you're comfortable around anyone and everyone, solely because you're comfortable with the way you're acting. And third of all, whoever this new person may be, they get to know you right away because you're just being you. It just makes more sense. In another view, you could be going after someone you may be interested in sexually, but instead of just being yourself, you do stupid shit to impress him/her. When he/she finally accepts your invitation to a dinner and movie, you realize she really fell for the guy that does the shit you find stupid. Next thing you know, you're dating and you're just not being yourself anymore. So moral of the story, If you're just yourself in front of everyone then the world will be a better place, you'll feel so much more happy and relaxed, and I guarantee you'll make better friends. As far as originality goes, there's a couple opinions I have on the matter. Some people say that they hate bands because they sound exactly like one of their all time favorite bands. For example, All Time Low's first album Put Up or Shut Up sounds scarily like most Fall Out Boy songs. If I was one of these people, I'd hate All Time Low because they sounded like Fall Out Boy (metaphorically my favorite band). Which makes no sense to me. If they sound like your favorite band, how could you possibly dislike their music? If they sound the same, alright, good deal because you get double the good music. Just seems stupid to me.

As far as girls go (I know, I'm such a teenager) I'm not one of those guys that goes out and gets drunk and high and whatever else there is to get, and bangs every girl in sight. And I hate the guys that do that night after night with a passion.As a matter of fact, my band has a song about those guys. It's great. Anyways,  I do very little drinking. I drink every once in a while on occasion, but nothing ridiculous. maybe like a couple times (3-6) a year, mostly in the summer. And instead, with girls, I'm always down to play guitar with them, sing with them, play some video games, listen to some music, ACTUALLY watch movies with them, and just chill with them. To actually have fun. Seriously, guys who are in it for the sex make me sad to be a guy. "All guys are pigs." True statement. Don't get me wrong, messing around with someone you find attractive is obviously fun, but a relationship where you can't do anything but that is not for me. But you can't find much of that in High School. Which brings me to my next point.

I am Ted Mosby. If you are familiar with HIMYM you would understand that he is trying to find "the one" every chance he gets, and all his friends are succeeding at exactly that, while he can't that person. The rest of my band have found partners that they love. It's amazing. I am so happy for all of them and I can honestly say I've never seen them more happy in my entire life. I'm single, if you couldn't tell by word number 234592352 in this fucking post. And, even though I am in High School, I continue to try to find that person with "it." I've come up with a theory where a person can have "it." some people have experienced it dating some people haven't. I have at a certain point in time and "it" is something that's un explainable. All I can say is that "it" is what I'm looking for. But I'm 16 years old. Why the fuck should I be doing that. Now logic has got me there, but I continue to strive for that person who has "it." Where I'm feeling "it." I see it in all my friends and it looks phenomenal. I don't know why I keep trying, because nine times out of ten, It will probably not work. Like Ted Mosby. But the show is called "How I Met Your Mother." So he does eventually find that person. So, one day, Ted Mosby Jr. here will find that lover and a sister wife who sings beautifully and loves music as much as he does. But for now, I'm still unsure of what exactly to do in my dating life.

I'm not happy with a couple things about myself. I always overthink things to the point where I literally end up crying for no reason at all. It's unbelievable that I continue to do things like that but it's kind of just what happens I guess. I've had acne ever since I hit puberty when I was 13 or 14. I hate it. With every bone in my body. I'm afraid to show my face in just about everything there is to show faces on. I hate the hundreds of dollars my mom spends on medicine for me every month. I hate how I can never look in the mirror and be any more than 75% happy with myself. I hate taking promo photos for my band. I hate seeing myself in videos. In every profile picture I've picked ones hiding my face. I hate how I need to wash my face 6 times a day to even close to where I want to be. I shave way more than I have to just to make my face feel smoother. I take extra skin pills that I'm supposed to so it can work faster, but then it dries out any other inch of skin I have left so much it hurts. I hate spending 10-15 minutes looking in the mirrror trying to make my face look like before I go out somewhere. I would genuinely be 600% happier without it and it irritates me to the point of no return. It's one of the worst things in the world, and yup. You guessed it. I've lost sleep and cried over this one too. In addition, I sweat too much. Ask anyone, at any show they've ever seen, I sweat way too much. I hate this, in every way. Some summer days are unbearable. Shows make me on the verge of throwing up and passing out. And being the weirdo who likes to live in an igloo, everyone else doesn't want as much AC as I do, so I sweat randomly in the car sometimes. It's honestly disgusting, and yup. I cried over it. What is wrong with me.

I don't want to grow up in any way whatsoever. I could have had my licence by now but I waited the longest I could without my mom killing me to get my permit. I don't have a job. I don't want to have a job. I want to go play music with my friends. I don't want to get taller. I don't want to act mature. I want to listen to blink-182 make dick jokes and think about sex. I don't care, I don't want to lose myself and forget about how much fun it is to be a kid. If I lived in a neighborhood I'd be sure to start up kickball and baseball games like you see on the Sandlot. I want to be one of those people. But I'm going to be 17 soon and I'm eventually going to have to accept the fact that everyone grows up. but for right now? Fuck that. Let's go be lazy and be rebellious naked people. 

Alright, in conclusion, I'm pretty sure that I didn't miss much about myself, and I don't know this site very well, so I don't know if I can say "comment if you want to talk" or whatever, but yeah.

For anyone who has felt as shitty as me or needs help or advice at all, I'd be happy to help.

Much love,

- Jake

You're exactly the way you're supposed to be.